fandom_muses: Topic 16: Goodbye Drug

You can’t get far enough away, no matter how hard you try. There’s no distance you can cover, no country that’ll hide you, no set of coordinates to Peace Of Mind you can triangulate and set a course for.

You just can’t handle the demands of the many, because they’re all you want.

You liked people, once, until an assignment went wrong and good men died. Before that, you were good with them...people interested you, charmed you, engaged you in a way that made you a star no matter where you went.

An assignment went wrong, good men died, and the kind of people you liked turned out to be responsible. You have no control over dirty agents...but your blind faith isn’t easily forgiven.

So you ran...hard and fast, tried to hide from people on the whole in every aspect of your life. You even tried to marry, to abandon humanity in the flesh of one single person...but even love let you down.

So you give it up. All of it. People...including yourself.

The field came damn close to what you needed...deep cover assignments, losing yourself in one alias after another, isolating yourself from even the Agency for months at a time. If only you didn’t have to come back...you would have found it.

Still felt good, though...every time you left the apartment you never used, the people you didn’t talk to unless you had to...it felt good to shut down, to get away, to be with the only person you could trust: yourself.

But even he dropped you after a while.

The man you once were is not the man who’s trying to learn the meaning of the word ‘teamwork’, trying to fit into a unit with the kind of ties you used to have, used to care about...you can never be that man again.

And you know, regardless of how much easier it gets or how well you integrate yourself into this organization...you don’t want to be.

Muse: Thomas Grace
Fandom: Alias
Words: 339